Fresh Blog!

Ok, people. So here's the low down. I have been a server for a few years now, and I am ready to share with the world things I'm learning about the service industry as I learn them. This blog is directed towards anyone who has worked in the service industry before, and the people who enjoy going out and being served. The purpose of this blog is to make you laugh, cry (from too much laughter), and maybe even hate mankind a little. From my experience in working in a hometown diner, a family owned start up restaurant, and a corporate owned fine dining establishment, I will teach you how to act when dining out, how to keep your cool as a server, and how to safely smash your head against a wall. This is a necessary skill for all servers.

For those of you not involved in the service industry, let me quickly explain the title of this blog. "On the fly," means you need something fast. As in, five minutes ago. This title embodies the feel of servers around the world, as one thing we all know about people is that when they want something, they want it right now. Contrary to popular belief, servers do not have magic powers and can not make your well done burger cook thoroughly in the 15 seconds between when you order it and when you exasperatedly ask if it's ready yet. More to come on this topic later.

We're going to keep it simple for the maiden blog post. I want to be clear, that this blog is not solely to focus on the negative aspects of restaurant culture, but also to rejoice in the fun aspects. Here is my list of pros and cons of choosing a life in the service industry.

Cons:

-When someone has waited tables long enough, they no longer have feet, only wounded nubs, stuck in tennis shoes to look natural.

-In the mind of most guests, the server's job is to seat the table, take the order, cook the food, run the food, pre-bus the table, compliment them on their outfit, dance for their amusement, and silence all children in the restaurant...all in a timely manner. At most restaurants, we are not required to also compliment the patrons outfit.

-I have never met a server named, "Boy,""Waitress,""Hey, you," or "What the hell!?" yet time and again, I've seen people misread our name tags for these.

-Sometimes, a big smile, perfect service, excellent food, and an overall V.I.P. experience is worth whatever change people can find in the bottom of their linty pocket. "Thank you, sir, for this gumball money. In fact, my landlord PREFERS to receive the rent in change."

-Servers generally have more than one table to attend to at a time. Other guests SEE you at these tables. They HEAR you speaking to other tables. Despite this, if you are not standing directly in front their table, you must be in the back playing bridge.

Pros:

- Money...sometimes.

Have a lovely day and remember to neuter your waiter and tip your pets!...wait...